There isn't much in this picture to criticise - the character design, rendering, lighting scheme, texture quality and overall mood are all handled very well.
The image's best and most interesting feature is its use of colour - the villain is clearly accompanied by dark/cool tones of blues and blacks that are gradually overshadowing the heroine's warmer reds and pinks. Colour choice has been very good throughout, and the heroine's white underwear is an especially wise decision to contrast with her red hair and achieve an immediate sense of her as the main character and central focus of the picture. I'd strongly advise that as the scene progresses, the villain's colour palette grows even more dominant, to the point that the hero becomes shrouded within it (though I suspect the artist might be reluctant to give up the trademark vibrant red hair on the heroine!).
If I had to point out a flaw, I would say the insistence on maintaining the exact same "camera angle" as the first image has limited the impact of this second one. The bed sheets at the top of the picture, overhead fabric at the top, and the bedposts/drapes on each side are now just dead space, doing nothing usseful for the scene. The view could have been zoomed in for tighter focus on the two characters in this shot, since the scene was already established in the previous one. Sometimes it can be useful to use the exact same angle and distance in multiple images of a sequence, but this isn't one of those times. The scene could have been made more intense and intimate with a closer or simply different angle in this second picture.
Another critique I'd have is simply personal taste - given the colours being used I think the villainess could have benefited from paler skin, darker lips and possibly dark painted nails. This would have contrasted more effectively with the heroine's skin tone and even allowed in later scenes for the heroine's tone to change into that of the villainess. As it stands, the warm skin of the villainess looks slightly odd since it's almost the same as the heroine's. But this is just nit-picking and the artist's choices in this area don't actually detract from the quality of the image.
Finally, there's a minor technical issue with the heroine's hair. Her braided bangs are clearly rigid, floating at the side of her face instead of falling naturally across her cheek. This could be deliberate - maybe the hair is meant to be stiff like that? However, more likely this is just a very minor oversight or limitation of the hair prop. Not a big deal, but something to keep in mind for future images especially since the bangs cast a shadow over her cheek, drawing attention to the fact that they aren't resting on it.
Overall the picture is technically excellent, shows great attention to detail and conveys a clear mood through use of colour and light. I can't really say it's particularly original, but not everything needs to be in order to look great.